A reflection on honoring your capacity, making peace with what’s undone, and reclaiming wellness on your terms
| Not that long ago, every time I looked at my rather large garden, it stirred up guilt, sadness, and grief. Once a space of purpose and possibility (born out of a desire to help nourish our community with farm-fresh vegetables and duck eggs), it had become tangled and overgrown—a hot mess, really. The garden felt like another failure. Maybe you know that feeling. The pain of watching something you once nurtured fall into disarray. The heaviness of wanting to do it all, to keep everything alive and thriving, and realizing you simply can’t. At first, I would try to ignore it or tell myself I’d catch up. But eventually, the garden became something else entirely: a mirror. A living metaphor for what happens when we exceed our capacity but keep pushing anyway. And here’s what it taught me: You don’t have to do it all. You’re allowed to change. Prioritizing what’s most important to you is essential self-care. Sometimes, when something falls away, it’s because you’re making room for something even more aligned. And, it’s not only okay, but beautiful. The Pressure to Keep Everything Thriving In the thick of it, I told myself I just needed a better routine. A stronger plan. A little more willpower. But deep down, I was exhausted. Between caring for my health and my family, navigating big work-life shifts, rebuilding financial stability, and pouring myself into the work of becoming a health coach—I was stretched. And the garden showed it. Weeds crept in. Pests took over. The beds I used to tend with love went untouched. Not because I stopped caring, but because I didn’t have the capacity to keep it all going. And that’s the part we don’t talk about enough: Even the good things—beautiful things—can become burdens when we don’t have time, energy, or space for them. There’s this subtle but persistent message many of us carry around like it’s the absolute truth: that we should be able to do it all. That with the right mindset or strategy, we could somehow hold everything: career, family, friendships, movement, rest, food, creativity, growth… and do it all with grace. But real life is messier than that. And our energy is not infinite. When we try to hold on too long to the things that were meant to be lessons and not eternally parts of our lives, they become heavy and weigh us down. Making Peace with Your Capacity Isn’t Giving Up What I’m learning—although quite stubbornly—is that honoring your capacity is not a failure. It’s a form of wisdom. There are limits to your time, energy, and attention—not because you’re doing something wrong, but because you’re human. As I started coaching, I began seeing this truth show up repeatedly for others as well. People aren’t “failing” at reaching health goals because they’re weak or lacking the desire—they’re overloaded. Pulled in so many directions that even simple habits feel overwhelming. Sustainability isn’t about pushing harder or digging deeper into their willpower. It’s about choosing what matters and letting the rest be. Letting Go Is a Kind of Growth There’s grief in letting go of something you hoped would flourish. I still feel it when I look out at what used to be rows of vegetables and herbs or remember how I used to gather eggs from our ducks. I still care deeply about living in alignment with nature and eating food grown as close to home as possible. But this isn’t the season for tending the land in the way I once did. Right now, I’m tending to other things: my overall health, my inner life, my home, and the meaningful work of guiding others through change. We’ve been taught to see growth as linear. Always producing, always improving. But life—real life—is cyclical and imperfect. It has ups and downs. The Weeds Taught Me to Prioritize What Truly Matters I used to see the weeds as a sign I was falling short. Now I try to see them as messengers. Invitations to slow down and ask: What’s really needed here? What do I truly want and need? Sometimes, like our gardens, our calendars and lives become overgrown. The goal isn’t to stay on top of it all like a machine, it’s to stay present and prioritize what’s most important to us. To return, over and over again, to what really matters. So, if your “garden” feels wild right now—if your habits, your home, your goals, or your schedule feel like more than you can manage—I want you to know you’re not failing. You may simply be in a season that’s asking for more reflection, care, and recalibrations, rather than more control, hustle, and pushing through. A Few Questions for Reflection: ✨What in your life have you been trying to keep going without the energy or time to truly tend to it? ✨Where are you holding yourself to an impossible standard? ✨What might begin to bloom if you gave yourself permission to rest, reflect, and prioritize your needs and desires? ✨What would change if you treated your capacity like a boundary to honor instead of a problem to solve? ✨What part of your life is quietly asking for attention right now? If this reflection resonates, and you’re in your own season of reevaluating what’s sustainable—I’d love to connect. I work with people who are ready to step out of burnout culture and into a more grounded, nourishing way of living. Together, we explore what wellness looks like for you—in this season, with the resources you have now. If you’d like to learn more about my 1:1 coaching, you can listen in to the podcast, connect with me on Instagram @wellnessinachaoticworld, or send me an email at sheryl@wellnessinachaoticworld.com. |
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